Here are my goats in their coats. They are based on a silly rhyme I made up one day for my screename. Being a college student,
I needed an excuse to procrastinate, so thus the various versions of my Goat in a Coat and this site. Hope you enjoy!
The original Goat in a Coat. He is dashing in his neon green coat and blue ski cap with orange pom-pom on top.
Here is the Evil KGB Goat! BEWARE the wrath of his goat gun!! He'll put you in the Gulag!
Goat had an identity crisis today. Hopefully he will be back to normal tomorrow...
Super Goat takes a bite out of crime! With his stomach of steel, the Goat devors and defeats the mutant yogurt, which came
about when nuclear waste spilled onto the lunch of a worker at the power plant. The plant was shortly shut dowm, and super
goat is back to fighting giant edible enemies around the globe!
Oriental goat eats Super # 1 Extra Special Lo mein meal. Don't get that fu manchu tangled up in your chopsticks!
Ride the Goat, uh, ride. He's cheap: only 5 cents. You could ride him all day at that rate. And if your really poor, you can
hit up the ugly kid for his milk money.
With his wooden teeth, George Washington Goat has a lovely cherry tree for lunch. For dinner, the Liberty Bell! Yum-yum.
In her first apperance, Helga is Bathtime Goat! She is styling in her pink bathrobe, pink shower cap and pink slippers. She
is all ready to get squeaky clean with her rubber duckie by her side. Scrub-a-dub-dub, there's a goat in the tub!
Oh no! Helga got mad at Viktor because he was being a jerk, so she spray painted a target on him while he was sleeping! In
the city, they just thought he was an advertisement, but in the forest....Good luck Viktor....
Poor Viktor! He saw some yummy tin cans in the fridge, and thought they would make a delicious snack. He didnt know they were
filled with intoxicating beer (hes still working on his english skills), so he ate all 6. Before he knew it, he was very sick
(goats are horrible at holding their alcohol), and passed out on a rock in the backyard. Moral of the story: If you give a
goat some beer, you will wish you hadn't.
Were-goat! Were-goat? There goat! Goat has been affected by the full moon wev'e had her latley and has turned into a big,
hairy goat with scary teeth. But don't worry, he's still just a silly little goat who dosent eat people. After he gets tired
of his new 'do, he has it all shaven off and donated to the Foundation for Bald Goats of Romania. So many bald goats, so few
Oh look, its Scott Peterson IN JAIL Goat. He says he didn't do it....or Amber Frey goat either. And you know he's lying about
that. Even though he was given the death penalty, in California, it is more like "Hang out in prison UNTIL you just die"
penalty. Let's just hope he dosen't eat the bars...they do look tasty.
Behold the mighty Goat god of the Ukizou shepard people, Goat. They were not very creative namers. It is a gold-plated statue
filled with the bones of animals. Anthropologists suggest that the bones are from the shepard's goats and sheep they herded.
Not much is known about the Ukizou people, but a recent discovery of a cave with pictographs in it suggest that they were
a very stupid people, because the pictures depict that all of the goats and sheep were male. Also, the pictures suggest that
the people did not eat their animals, but rather ate each other. Scientists are not sure, but perhaps this is why the people
died out. One thing is for sure, the statue makes a very big tourist attraction for goat lovers all over the world.
Leprechaun Goat dosen't know where humans got the idea that if you catch a leprechaun, you get three wishes. You get 3 fishes.
I guess that wasn't "magical" enough. But hey, come one, 3 fishes isn't too bad. And you can even choose between
the type you eat and they type you put in a bowl and look at. So catch a leprechaun goat today, and 3 little fishies are on
Helga was not feeling well today. So, we hooked her up with these chic purple and blue polka dot pajamas and some soup. Helga
will be better soon and back to modeling all of the girly goat fashions, and also to playing more tricks on Viktor. Until
then, she will be chilling out on her daybed in the family room watching daytime soaps. Feel better soon Helga!
Here's the beautiful Baywatch Goat Helga, voted "Sexiest Goat in the World" in Goat People magazine for 2004. And
clearly, you can see why. All the boy goats at college have her pin-up in their room, and she has launched a million female
goat diets. They can try, but it would be hard to be a better looking female goat than Helga. Stay sexy, girl!
*****51 People have been to Goat In A Coat!!*****
On its 16 day run, that means that 3.1875 people come here each day! My life has a purpose. Thank you.
Watch out for Punk Goat Helga! She's hardcore, and if you tell her different, she'll kick your sorry behind. Here we see
her perfecting her grafitti skills in the New York Subway. She got a Sweet Onion Teryaki Sub, and because she felt the establishment
was ripping her off, asked for water, and filled her glass up with Sprite. And now she's tagging their alley. Before the cops
catch her, she'll hop on her hog Charlie and flee the scene. Charlie was an old friend from Romania who was going to get turned
into bacon. She smuggled him in her suitcase. Stealing, vandizing, fleeing, smuggling, whats next? Perhaps eating Viktor's
Here is Viktor sporting his native Romanian winter gear. He is wearing a lovely navy blue coat, tan britches, a dashing black
fur hat with ear flaps, and a tri-colored sweater knit by his ever-lovin goat mother. Notice the traction on his boots. This
extreme ruggedness was specially designed for trekking across the Romanian mountainsides. Viktor is certainly well-suited
for winter here in America!
Just in time for Valentine's Day - Milk Chocolate Goat! Made from the finest Sweedish Chocolate, the solid Milk Chocolate
Goat is exactly 1/12 the size of a real Goat! It is guaranteed to bring a smile from any Valentine, regardless of dieting
status, because cutting-edge technology has rendered this chocolate treat fat and calorie free! So, your beloved can have
days of guilt-free munching if you give him or her the Milk Chocolate Calorie & Fat Free Goat! (I know my Valentine's
day would be perfect if I got something like that)
Look! It's Hugh Heffner Goat! The original Goat Playboy, who founded the magazine Playgoatboy, and is always accompained by
his followers, the Playgoatboy Rabbits. Here Hugh is, in his secret underground cave pool. We'd show you the pool itself,
but let's just let the magazine cover that part. Stay cool, Hugh, and try not to catch any VD's from those rabbits now.
Here is Mr. Professor Goat (there will probably be a couple of these). See Mr. Goat's beautiful drawing representing the brain.
Notice also his stealth goat camoflague. Mr. Goat isn't having a good hair day today, but its alright, none of his students
mind because they are having fun in his class. Moral of the story? Life without your brain would be bad. (Yeah, I ran out
of ideas...I tried) G to the gizoat.
Back by popular demand: Professor Goat! You will notice, his hair is under control. Thank you for the request, Brianne! It
was my first. His quotes:
-...I will now do an interpretive dance...
-Meningitus Incontinence! (needle)
-This guy is so fat he has to express the number of chins in scientific notation!
-Anyone got some mousse?
So yay for Brianne and kudos to Dr. T for the inspiration for the first 2-day running goat.
Have you ever seen a goat in a banana suit?
Now you have!
I'm Chiquita Banana
And I've come to say
Bananas have to ripen
In a certain way
When they are flecked with brown
And ever golden hue,
Bananas taste the best
And are the best for
You can put 'em in a salad
You can put 'em in a pie-ie-ie
Anyway you want to eat 'em
It's impossible to beat 'em!
But bananas like the climate
Of the very very tropical Equator
So you should never put bananas
In the refrigerator,
No, no, no, no!
Was that what I thought it was? A goat running the streets naked! What kind of crazy goat would do such a thing? Viktor, of
course. He was dared to at a party. And without even eating any cans of beer, took it all off and took off running. Let's
just hope his friends don't lock the door before he gets back...Crazy Viktor. He'll do anything you dare him to.
When Helga invited Viktor to see a magician, he didn't know he was going to be involved in any tricks! The magician was actually
and old friend of Helga's, a pre-med student who dropped out after he found he was able to escape when his fraternity brothers
tied him to a telephone pole in his underwear. So, she made a deal with him to pick Viktor out of the audience for his most
famous trick. Let's just hope part of the agreement was putting him back together!
***INVASION OF THE REAL-LIFE GOATS IN COATS!***
Real-life adorable baby goats have taken over today's entry! Viktor and Helga have some new American competition. They better
come back with some good outfits, and maybe a new haircut or a boob-job or something...
(I will never spend the entire day on the internet again. Just look what crazy stuff you can find. Real goats in coats.
Its madness, I tell you, utter madness...)
Where is today's goat? Well, he is there, but it might be a little hard to see him because he is invisible! Helga messed with
his molecular makeup. AGAIN. When will that girl stop being such a trouble maker. Ah well, I'm sure he will think of ways
to get her back with his invisibility...Can anyone say "tape recording her confession of the crime?" Oh, and stealing
her diary. Good Goat fun.
I know, I have been slacking. I am in goat debt by 3 goats. But do not fear, they will appear. After this weekend, everything
should be back on track. Sorry for you goat-a-holics who I've neglected!
******105 People have been to Goat In A Coat!******
(That gives me sufficent initiavtive to follow through.)
Today, we see Helga as Maria from the Sound of Music Goat! Why sound of music? "Once you know the notes to sing,
you can sing most anything!" I love this movie. I even went to a sing-along! Helga shares my passion, and she won 1st
prize in the look-alike contest! So Climb Every Mountain, pick some Edelwis, and eat some Ti with Jam.
Oh no! What did Viktor's friends do to him now? I looks like he got into a fight with a lawn mower...and lost. He's completley
hairless! And what does that say? He likes Michael Jackson! And they drew a heart too...thats so bad. Note also the marker
moustache and poorly drawn glasses. And they even froze his underwear! Tsk tsk. Goat boys will be boys, I guess. At least
they didn't put his hoof in warm water...Oh, they did? I'm sorry. (hahaha...)
Inspired By A True Story(thanks Jenna!).
Helga was playing hide and seek, and her friends told her they knew the best hiding spot. So, they folded her up in the
fold-out couch! Helga quickly realized it was not a good spot at all, and they were playing a horrible trick on her! They
ran away, and left her there for a long time. Finally, they did come back and let her out, but that is the last time Helga
will let anyone fold her up like that again! The End.
It's Open Goat Season! Bag as many as you want. Here, a proud goat hunter displays the finest of his catch. Viktor and Helga,
be sure to stay out of the woods!
NOTICE: The original base image for the goats has been erased. I will be making a new one soon, and the fun will begin again.
And I am still aware of the 4 goats I am in debt to you, the viewers of the webpage. Do not fear, it is only a technical error
and can be easily fixed! - Love, Steph
And so the search begins...
I accidentally erased the original base image for the goat, so I have to make a new one. (which I will save under at least
2 names...) It is impossible to take one of the goats I have drawn on and make it just black and white. I have tried.
So, my quest to draw a new and improved goat begins with ugly bull-like goat, or, short goat on steriods. Let's hope I regain
my artistic skills soon, or the site is doomed!
Second Prototype: Goat a la Dr. T, who has the amazing ability to make almost all animals look homogenious. For example, this
animal could also qualify as a dog, cat, or rat. Mad props.
Prototype Trois: Modern Art Goat.
Prototype Four: Simplistic Artistic Representation of the Unity of All Goats.
Prototype No. 5: This guy. I'm sorry bud, but your just not what we're looking for. Try becoming a quadraped, but until then,
we'll call you.
Seriously folks, I am going to have a new goat out soon, and I know I still owe you two more goats now. Ciao!
YAY! I was able to salvage one of the goat heads from "goat season!" Here is my new goat base image. Say hello again
to Viktor! He's been working out. Thats me, jumping for joy. New goats real soon!
Goats In Space!
Look what Viktor found on Mars! It's Mr. Winkle, the cutest dog in the universe. He is shown here, on the spaceship. If you
would like to learn more about the alien-dog-creature that is Mr. Winkle, you can visit his website @ www.MrWinkle.com
More goat follies await...
To give me inspiration for my paper on Socrates, Viktor does his rendition of the "Death of Socrates." "Socrates
was way kruto(cool)," says Viktor. I told him he could write my paper for me, but he says I have to learn to be responsible
and develop a work ethic to be ready for when I am a lawyer and my job is really hard and I am not going to really feel like
doing That either, but I am going to have to do it anyways. This from a goat! Ya vas liubliu, Viktor e Helga. (their previous
owner spoke Russian)